Outsourcing your Freedom

 Outsourcing Your Freedom: Why I Stopped Letting Others Decide for Me

The US election has me thinking about freedom and our own personal freedom.I think we need to look within ,whether you are happy with the outcome or not.

There was a time when I thought I was free. I looked like I had it all together on the outside, but inside, I was tethered, entangled in expectations, norms, and the endless influence of other people’s opinions. I was allowing too much of my life to be decided by forces outside of me, outsourcing my own freedom without even realizing it. One day, I woke up to the realization that if I wanted a true sense of liberation, I had to reclaim the parts of myself that I’d given away, piece by piece.

The Slow Leak of Personal Power

It wasn’t like I woke up one day and handed over my freedom on a silver platter. It was much subtler than that. A “yes” here, an “I’ll follow along” there, letting others decide what I should want, how I should spend my time, and what was “good” for me. Slowly, I realized I was living a life based on others’ standards, expectations, and fears rather than my own true choices. And the truth is, there’s a quiet devastation in this kind of living. You don’t see it right away, but bit by bit, it leaks the life out of you.

I realized I was allowing too many voices to drown out my own, well-meaning voices, even loving ones, but ones that weren’t mine. Each time I put someone else’s opinion above my own instinct, I outsourced a bit of my freedom. I made other people’s priorities more important than my own and other people’s happiness more important than my own truth.

There came a point where I couldn’t keep going like this. It wasn’t sustainable, and the weight of it was crushing me. I began to feel disconnected from myself, from what I genuinely wanted out of life. I could see the path I was on and knew it didn’t belong to me. But the hardest part? I had to admit that I’d given others permission to lead me here, whether or not they’d known it. I’d handed over my freedom one decision at a time, and the only way forward was to reclaim it with intention.

Taking Responsibility for My Freedom

This part wasn’t easy. I had to get brutally honest with myself. Taking responsibility for my freedom meant I had to make decisions that weren’t necessarily going to be popular or even fully understood by others. I had to start making choices that aligned with my own values, not the values I’d absorbed. And I had to be okay with people not liking it.

I had to confront the uncomfortable realization that, at times, I’d been using other people’s expectations as a way to avoid taking risks or facing my own fears. By letting others dictate my path, I had the excuse of saying, “Well, this is just the way things are.” Owning my freedom meant giving up those excuses and learning to trust myself again.

Learning the Language of My Own Truth

The more I practiced tuning out the noise, the more I started to understand my own inner voice, the one I’d let go silent for too long. I realized freedom wasn’t about cutting ties or running away; it was about creating a life that felt true. I had to start speaking the language of my own truth, even if that meant facing uncomfortable emotions or parts of myself I’d rather avoid.

There’s something deeply liberating about finding your own voice and standing in it, even if it’s shaky at first. I had to learn to live by my own standards and allow my own desires and dreams to lead me. This was a process, and it didn’t happen overnight. But with every decision I made that was rooted in my own sense of purpose, I felt the weight lift. I felt lighter, stronger, and free in a way I hadn’t before.

A New Definition of Freedom

For me, freedom isn’t about escaping or cutting ties; it’s about having the courage to live in alignment with who I truly am. It’s about no longer outsourcing my sense of self to others’ opinions, beliefs, or expectations. I’ve come to see that true freedom requires fierce self-honesty and a commitment to authenticity, no matter how uncomfortable it can be.

Looking back, I’m grateful for this journey, even though it was hard. I’ve learned that real freedom doesn’t mean being untouched by the world or other people’s views. It means having the strength and clarity to choose my own path, even when it goes against the grain. It means being fully responsible for my own happiness, my own choices, and my own life.

If you feel that you’re living someone else’s story, I encourage you to take a pause. Notice where you might be outsourcing your freedom without even realizing it. Begin to listen to the quiet parts of yourself, the parts that don’t scream for attention but wait patiently to be heard. Trust that you have everything you need within you to live your own unique life.

Ultimately, reclaiming my freedom has been one of the most challenging and fulfilling things I’ve ever done. And I can tell you—it’s worth it.

I have had to step forward and be authentically me.It cost me friendships,relationships,access but evolution is a price I am willing to pay.

~Shanti Freedom Das