Choosing connection over perfection

 Protection Prevents Connection: Running Toward Vulnerability

For most of my life, I thought of protection as a necessary shield. After all, we’re taught that the world is harsh, people can be unpredictable, and that it’s up to us to keep our hearts safe. But over time, I realized that my self-protection — this invisible armor I wore so proudly — was costing me something precious: connection.

 The Armor I Built

My instinct to protect myself came naturally, born out of past hurts and the need to feel secure. I put up walls, distancing myself from others whenever I felt the slightest hint of vulnerability. In my mind, keeping people at arm’s length was just a way to stay safe. Yet with each wall I built, I found myself feeling more isolated. I was safe, yes — but also alone.

The Reality of Loneliness

I started noticing the loneliness creeping in when I’d see friends or family deeply connecting, sharing their lives openly, and showing up for each other in ways I found difficult. There were moments I wanted to step closer, to share more of myself, but my instinct to protect held me back. I was scared to let my guard down, afraid that being vulnerable would open me up to more pain. But the isolation was its own kind of pain — a quiet, persistent ache that reminded me something was missing.

. Learning to Trust Connection as a Path to Healing

As time went on, I began to see that maybe the walls I’d built weren’t protecting me as much as I thought. The more I experienced little moments of connection — genuine conversations, shared laughter, or just a comforting presence — the more I realized how healing those moments could be. While protection kept me safe, it was connection that made me feel seen and valued. There was a warmth in those moments that no amount of self-protection could ever bring.

Finding Balance: Boundaries Instead of Walls

Learning to connect didn’t mean abandoning boundaries. Instead, I began to see boundaries as a healthy alternative to rigid walls. Boundaries felt empowering; they gave me the choice of who I let in and on what terms, without closing myself off completely. I could stay open to others without losing my sense of self or feeling vulnerable in ways that were overwhelming. It was a new way of living — less about armor and more about balance.

The Courage to Take Down the Walls

Allowing myself to be vulnerable didn’t happen overnight. I had to face the fear that came with letting go of my defenses. But as I slowly took down those walls, one by one, I found that I wasn’t as fragile as I’d feared. The possibility of connection was worth the risk. I realized that even if I faced disappointment or hurt, I had the resilience to handle it. And through those connections, I discovered strengths within myself that I didn’t know I had.

 Building a Life of Connection

Today, I’m still on this journey of balancing protection and connection. Every time I let myself be seen, I’m reminded of the beauty that connection brings to life. Relationships are richer, friendships are deeper, and there’s a sense of belonging I never felt when I was hiding behind my walls.

Final Thoughts: Embracing Vulnerability

Choosing connection over protection is a leap of faith, one that requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable. I’m learning that while my instinct might be to protect, my soul craves connection. And every time I choose connection, I remind myself that true protection doesn’t come from shutting people out — it comes from letting the right ones in.